Fiction: Break-Even

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The theme for this week’s The Daily Post Weekly Writing Challenge is The Sound of Silence.  I am a person who is not afraid to say what I feel, especially in cases wherein it is important to say something.  The last thing you need in this life is regret.

For this post I want to challenge myself by focusing on the idea of leaving something unsaid and the regret that comes with it (something that I haven’t felt in a while).

Break-Even

Isn’t it sad how much effort you put into forgetting someone? You go to different places, you meet up with friends, you do everything and anything possible just to be ok. You drown yourself in work, watch tons of dvds, play with whatever console you have, just to remove that person in your head. But at the end of the day, it’s still her.

It’s been three months since she left for France. She’s my best friend… and then some… but like what she would always tells me “you’re more than a best friend to me.”… she was more than a best friend to me… I understood why she had to leave, it’s for her dreams and her family. What I did not understand was the way she left me. It was days before she left. I really blame the tequila, but more than the tequila I blame the kiss… because of that, all the emotions that I have been trying to bury resurfaced.

I loved her. I love her. She loved me, but not as much. She wanted an open relationship, I wanted exclusivity. I did not choose her, I chose someone else, who eventually made me regret. It was a mistake of epic proportions. I wish I held on and gave it time. I wish I gave her a reason to stay. I should have said those three words…

Now, I feel stupid for feeling these things. I mean there’s no sense. She won’t come back. She won’t come back in a long time. Time will soon erase what we had. Time is a difficult enemy to have. It’s hard when you want to fight for it and hope, but there is nothing you can do but let go. All I’m left with are unnecessary emotions and the good memories tattooed in my head (and in my heart).

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